me, part 2

sorry I might not make a lot of sense but I thought of a few more things....

I need friends that don't mind reaching out to me because I just can't..  I am not able to issue invitations, reach out, ask for help, tell people when I need someone, etc.

I wish my husband cared enough to give me attention, to do something when I  am doing things that hurt me (and he knows it), etc.  I need a partner that cares.

I can't reach out, I can't make phone calls or answer calls, rarely.  I need friends that doesn't care when I withdraw.....but reaches out, shows up, does thing that show they love me despite that.

I need friends that understand when I get hurt and love me anyway.  That will ignore what I saw, show up and just now me.  When I'm so hurt and then I feel like I'm ignored it really makes my feelings intensifies.

I need friends that understand the issues with Meag.

I need friends that reach out.....that don't just ignore me, make other plans for weeks and nothing with me.

I wish I had a good marriage like I used to.

I hate myself so much.

I need you......will you be my friend?  Will you be the friend I need?  Or am I asking too much?  :-(