a tragedy

By now I think most people in America, and perhaps in the world, has heard about the tragedy that happened in CO a few days ago.  It was a horrible, senseless thing that happened.
 
I have many thoughts that go through my mind....I wonder if others do too?  I completely will admit that I do not pay much attention to gun control and issues about it.  I know what I believe and that's enough for me.  But I have to wonder if there could be 'something' in place that could have alerted someone about all of the things that this kid was buying up.  I know that there are lots of people that cry about freedom of rights....but for example if I'm going on an airplane and it's something that just might save me from a 9/11-type incident the go ahead....scan me away, search me all you want, look at my luggage and carry-on.  I give my 'freedom' for my safety.  For me, this is the same things.

I'm also very very sorry for this guy's dad/parents.  Can you imagine being in his/their position?  I know that i don't know much about him or them but really.....his/child just committed a horrible act against nature and I have such compassion for him/them. I say him because he is the one I saw on the news.  I'm not sure if there is a mom in the picture or not.  He will never be the same....and unless I see/hear differently nothing was his fault.  He's a victim.....and people will judge him harshly and they will always treat him differently, badly.

My heart just aches and hurts for all of these stories I keep seeing on the tv.  Kudos to all of those that did such heroic measures to save others....and of course, prayers to the family and friends of each and every victim.  What an incredible nightmare they must be going through right now.

I watched the news tonight that showed this 'guy' in his first court appearance today and how horribly scary he looked.  Was it staged or for real?  I'm sure the opinions of people will run the line of answering that.  After seeing that 'normal' picture of him all over the news, seeing this whacked out, nutty picture really threw me.

Now for the movies....it really made me think about whether I could or even want to go into a theater again.  I think that the chance of this happening again is slim but still....would I worry, be scared, be able to enjoy the movie?  I'm just not sure.  I was heartened to hear that so many didn't let this keep them from going this week.....sort of in a measure of showing support and that the hatefulness didn't win.  I'm really not sure that I would be strong enough to do it.

So many awesome stories coming out of this tragedy....stories of survival, stories of kids trying to save other kids, stories of proposals coming in the ER after this and on and on.  Amazing....and makes me cry all the time.

One HUGE thing on my mind since this happened is how we live our lives.  Think about it.....what if you were in that theater?  How would it change you?  Or what if someone you know was in there....and perhaps didn't survive?  Life is to short.  We simply must not end up in a situation like this where we have regrets....where we loved something and didn't tell them.  You just don't know what that might do for something if you tell them you love them.  Learn from this and let it change you....for the better.  Reach out to someone and tell them that you love them.  Maybe there is something that you haven't talked to in a long time or maybe there is someone that you've lost touch with or you've had a falling out with......two words: FIX IT.  No matter the cost.  Know deep inside you that it's worth it  People are worth it.  You don't want to leave this life without putting things right with everyone that you possibly can.  Perhaps you can't fix things with someone, but you can a least try.....and then know in your hear that you did all you could.  And for those situations you did fix....what an amazing, awesome thing.  God will rejoice.

Don't let this tragedy end with just horrible, bad things.....but rather, even though you weren't there or a friend wasn't there, turn this into something wonderful and positive.....I promise you won't regret it.

Friends, I love you.

Ready for a new week

Whew....it's been another one of 'those' weeks for me.  Seems like it's been just one situation that hurts to deal with after another.  For me and my sensitive stomach...the stress just kills me.  It causes my poor tummy to act up and it takes forever for it to settle down.

Why does it seem like the 'things' hit you one after another?  Or is it just me? lol  I had something mid-week that threw me for a loop and caused so much hurt.  I wasn't prepared, didn't expect it and was just plain floored.  Honestly I'm still not sure how to work through it....except through lots of prayer!  Thank You God for listening and giving me your input!

Followed that with something the end of the week....and topped it off with something else. Ok, I've had enough....I am ready for a new week.  I'm ready for my tummy to settle down and let me be.  And I'm sure praying that this week is much better than last week.

Sometimes I feel like I just don't fit in anywhere.  I try to think it through, each individual thing/area....and most everything I just don't understand.  I don't know if it's me or what I need to do to change things.  I can't change me....this is how God made me (as long as I'm 'obeying' and in His Will)....and you know the saying "God don't make no junk".  If I'm not in His Will or obeying, then I absolutely want to know that and want to change me in any way that I need to.  All I can do is ask for His wisdom and direction and input....and know that He will give it.

Sometimes I don't know how to deal with or process the hurt.  I have have been hurt so many times by being 'honest' about things and how I feel etc that I tend to freeze up and not say anything.  I'm not sure that's the answer....but yet, what is?  The 'me' in me wants to be so open and honest, all the time and especially with those I'm closest to'....but yet I just can't.  Right now I'm wishing I could.  Because sometimes I just feel so darn alone.  I struggle with someone to talk to about those things that are so deep within me.

Well, enough 'deep' stuff for tonight.  It's supper time.....and then hopefully some crochet time before bed.  I'll put all of this away for now....and just pray!

whee....

Roller coasters, tilt-a-whirl, teacups, octopus, swings....  just some of the rides you can find at an amusement park or midway somewhere.  I love all kinds of rides, love every roller coaster...even those that scare me.  But when our lives imitate those rides, well it just isn't fun any more.  I don't know about you but these days it sure seems that my life follows those rides continually.....and I want off!!

One minute up, one minute down, one minute left, one minute right, the next minute spinning out of control, once in a brief while softly swinging.  I want more of those gentle swing days as opposed to those heart-wrenching, breath-stopping, stomach-twisting roller coaster days.  Because most days I want to yell "STOP, I want off!"  And I'm sure on those days God just sits back and sighs and says 'hold on, I'm running this ride.'

I know, and all too often 'forget' until I'm once again blindsided, that when I have those gentle swing days that that satan is going to make sure to trip me up by sending one of those 'other' days to me.  And instead of being prepared, yep...I'm caught off guard, once again.  Sorry, God.  Yes, I know I'm slow; thank You for Your patience with me.  Will I ever learn?

Sometimes when I'm going through something I just can't seem to find the answer to solve it, or at least to get past it or out of it or put it behind me.  I feel stuck.  Ever felt that way?  Again...sorry God! I know You are waiting with the answer for me, if I will just ask....and be patient for the answer.

Sometimes I just can't see what is the 'right' thing to do.  Sometimes you are in a situation that either decision you make really isn't 'wrong', it isn't bad or unChristlike....but you just can't see what is the decision that you should make.  I'm there right now.  It's hard to work through something that falls in this category.  I think it takes time, a lot of thought, a lot of prayer.

Life is hard.  God never said it wouldn't be.  Sometimes we get frustrated because we think it is unfair that life is so hard, but you know, that's just how life is.  Our reward comes later, not now. It doesn't mean we can't have a good or happy and productive life...but this isn't what we are living for.  We have to remember that.

So...hang on, tighten up those safety harnesses....close your eyes if you need to.  But if you are really daring, throw those hands in the air, eyes wide open....and don't hesitate to scream if need be (sometimes it helps!).

decisions

Sometimes there are things that we just have to do.  They might cause us some pain, in one way or another, but we have to do them.  We feel loss, we miss something/someone, but again for one reason or another we have to do it.  Some might not understand, others might.  I think in these circumstances we usually don't want to do this 'thing' but we do because it's what is best for us....if not at first, then at some point when we realize that there's just no other option if we want to be loved and move on.

I'm in that now and every time I think about it it hurts, I am filled with loving and I wish it didn't have to happen.  But honestly it's what's best and it's what is fair for me.  Life is so often not fair to us and if there is something we can do, we should.  It helps if others, at least someone, understands....but yet even if not...if we've prayed about it, if we've searched the scripture, if we know we are in God's will....there really it doesn't matter....it's just simply the right thing to do.

Maybe we are thinking of this or that and things we have to continue for whatever reason....but we need to look at the whole picture in making our decision.  Because if it's wrong and hurting us or someone else, then in the end it can hurt others.  God can help to make that pain and hurt and sadness go away, we only need to ask.

We should always want to be in God's will, no matter what.  That's not always easy but it is something we should strive for.  Is God calling us to forgive, we should.  Is He calling us to move on, we should.  Is He calling us to start new and give a second chance, we should.  Is He calling us to love unconditionally, we should. And so forth.  He will give us the strength to get through whatever He's called us to go through.

I don't want to go through this, again.  I want something so completely different....but here I am.  And here I am making decisions, ones that I myself, in my own power, have no idea how to make.....but with God's help and with His wisdom and understanding I can make them and know I can make it through them.  He will put people and things in my life to help me.

Sometimes no matter what we do it is just not enough, even though we try so so hard.  But maybe that is God's plan?  His plan is not our plan.  Hard to hear, huh?  It's hard to speak as well.  Now knowing all of this and putting it into plan and actually doing something and moving forward is so hard.  Esp when you don't want it.  That's when you have to do what you know is the right thing to do....regardless.

Jesus....help me.  I can only make the right decisions and put them into place with YOU and Your power.

Mommy and Daughter fun

Last week when life was threatening to bowl me over, I decided that Gracie and I were going to get out of the house and do something fun.  There is a play in town called "The Pottery" (original, huh lol) and we had went in and checked it out and so on Tuesday (which is 1/2 price for the studio fee) we decided we would head off and have some girl fun.

Now before I share our picture, let me warn you....I absolutely, totally can NOT paint.  Maybe if I was trying to paint some flat surface a solid color I might be able to pull it off.....but give me a piece of pottery and ask me to paint small, straight lines....and well, forget you.  You'll see.  But, the important thing is that we had a great time.  It wasn't cheap but it was worth every penny for how much Gracie enjoyed it.  I think we might have to go back before school starts.....and give me an opportunity to redeem myself with something flat and one color HA!!  Gracie, on the other hand, is as good at this as she is at everything else.....that's my girl!

Hope you enjoy our pictures as much as we enjoyed the day!

Gracie getting started....she dove right in and painted away!

Hard at work, step 1 for her project (which was more entailed that mine) 

She's very intense when she's doing it....although she often took breaks to look around and tell everyone who walked by what project she was going!

See the black cat off to the right?  That was her inspiration.  The people who worked there were so helpful and taught her step by step what to do so that her cat would look at least something like that!

 And we are on to step 2, painting the yarn on

Really Mom?  Do I HAVE to look at you and smile with a normal smile? Geesh!

Ok, since you made me do that, here's a picture for you.....ha!

Step 2 is almost complete....this project took longer but Gracie didn't mind....and the end result was so cool!

Step 3 is complete....painting the cat (over the yarn and all is done).  I forgot to take a picture after step 4 which was to wait until the black paint had dried and then to carefully peel all of the yarn off of the cat.

HA...NO laughing, but here is my snowman once I was done....

After you paint your pieces you leave them there for 5-7 days and they fire them and make them shiny.  Here is Gracie's totally awesome cat....front view.  Didn't she do an amazing job??

Back view of Gracie's cat....

And last but not least, my silly snowman.  It may look so crazy but it's mine, grin.  When we went to pick them up the guy asked what we made.  I pointed to the snowman and said that would be mine.  He said it looks so good.  I totally laughed in his face and said no it doesn't but I had fun, grin

hubby, chores and mid-year thoughts

It's been a great day....actually a great quite a few days!  I started doing a bunch of cleaning around the house....and so far have gotten a lot done!!  For Saturday and Sunday I had a 'wish' list of things that I really wanted US to get done....meaning Dave and I (and Gracie too).  Now, as good as he is, often Dave wants to do his list, not want I want and how I want it.  But I was so blessed that he just pitched in with and got on board with my list and my vision!  We got so much done....and checked off that much more from the list! Yay! Made me so happy.

Between the heat outside and the things we were doing inside he didn't get any outside stuff done.  So he took today off and he worked and worked and worked.....getting at least the yard mowed before a very few raindrops fell and it got too hot.  Since then he's been hard at work trying to knock out the rest of his indoor list. Mine will def resume tomorrow.  SO close to be 'finished'.....well, that is if you are ever really finished!

The nice thing is that the house, inside, is looking better than it's looked for so so long! It makes me so happy and makes me feel so good.  Now to keep it up, of course.  I'm WAY behind on crocheting and the things I absolutely need to get done because of all the work in the house....but honestly it was time for me to make those things priority.  And no complaints from hubby....awesome!!

As I said, I've had a really good day, although the tummy is a bit upset and the head is hurting....but still a really really good day! Yay, I love that!!

I have tons on my mind.....thinking about it being mid-way through 2012.....can you believe it??  I had a lot of hopes, a lot of wishes, wants, goals for this year......and then life happened.  The first several months of 2012 were just horrible with so much going on, so much to deal with.  I didn't deal with all of it very well.....ok, I probably didn't deal with any of it very well.  But I hope and pray that I've really learned A LOT this year.....and honestly if I've at least learned something then maybe, just maybe all the pain and hurt and bad times have been worth it.  I would hate that nothing came out of all of that.

So as I think about it being mid-way through the year, what am I thinking about it?
*LOVE....love one another, love each other deeply, totally, unconditionally and OUT LOUD.
*FORGIVE...ask, give...do what you  need to, but forgive.  It's for you, not the other person.
*BE YOU...Figure out who you are, who God wants you to be (remember He made you just as you are) and be the very best you can be.
*DON'T GIVE UP....no matter what, don't give up.  Whether on a situation or on a person or anything....if it means something and it is important to you and it's God's will....do not give up.  You never know when God will answer you, will move you forward in the situation.  Be vigilant, be ready.  Do, behavior, act, speak....as God would want you to.....and hang on to hope always.
*PUT OTHERS FIRST....this is a biggie....but put other people first, regardless.  Your feelings are not what is important....the other person's is.  If you hurt someone, it doesn't matter whether you meant to or not, apologize and ask what you can do to fix things....then do whatever you can.  If they say you can't, then it's up to you to continue to love them anyway, to continue to pray for them and for your relationship.....because once again you just do not know when God is going to move and work in this situation and you need to be accountable for your own actions and be ready.
*IGNORE....all of that other 'stuff'.....all of that nonsense from people that don't matter (really now....who really matters other than GOD?)....learn to ignore it~!  Yes, this is a very hard one, but with God's help you can do it.  Take steps, if you need to, to minimize your exposure to these things, or simply just ignore it.  It really  doesn't matter.  Those that know you, know the truth.  Those that are spouting all of this, don't.....period.  Ask God to shut your mouth, use the delete key and move on.
*LEARN WHAT IS IMPORTANT....and if you don't know, ask God!
*THANK GOD....if He returns something to you that you had lost, if He restores a relationship that was broken...Thank Him....and do what you can do do more than your part to make things right and keep things going in the right direction.  You owe Him that.
*TAKE THINGS SLOW....sometimes we want to speed things up into our timing....but it is God's timing that is perfect in all ways.  Find it within you to take it slow and let Him take the lead and wait until He says yes....or changes the plans (and ask Him for help if you need to).
*FILL THE EMPTY SPOTS....if you find yourself with empty holes in your life for whatever reason, learn to fill them.  There are so many ways that you can do this that will honor God, will grow you as a person.  Don't miss out on this, it can be so important in your life.
*CHANGE....oooh, this is a hard one that steps on lots of toes, including mine (ugh).  I hate change, I'll be the first to admit it.  But it is absolutely necessary in our lives for many reasons.  If you are in a situation that you are not happy about, chances are that you need to find the change that you need to make.  Again, ask if you don't know what it is.  I think a lot of times we really know what it is, we just don't want to do it.  But we can, whether we want to or not.  It might not be easy, but I promise it will be worth it.
*ASK, CLARIFY...if you are not sure about anything with another person...ask them.  It may be uncomfortable but if you will only ask it will often time save you much heartache.
*GIVE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.....really learn deep in your heart that people are not perfect and they are going to doing things that are 'wrong'....love them anyway, unless you just really want to let them go....and then be honest and do so, hopefully on a good note.
*LOVE YOURSELF....throughout it all, learn to love yourself.  You are not ever going to do everything perfectly (only Jesus was perfect and we aren't Him).....we can do our best, we can try hard....most importantly we can ask for forgiveness when we mess up (more often for some of us than others) but always we should love ourselves.....because only then can others love us.
*BE PATIENT....wait on God and His timing.  His timing is not ours.  And sometimes He says yes, sometimes He says not now and sometimes He says I have something better for you.  We have to wait, then we have to accept what He says.  Be happy and rejoice no matter He answer.
*LEARN TO BE CONTENT....I'm not sure we can always be 'happy'.....but I think that even during those times we aren't really happy, we can still be content in our circumstances....because we know that they are where we are supposed to be and that they can change at any moment.

I'm sure that I've learned much more than this....but wow....what a list of things that just now come to mind that I've learned.  Thank You God for teaching me so many great lessons, for bringing me to where I am today, for loving me enough.  I hope I learn more than this in the last half of the year....although without so much pain and sorrow would be nice (grin).

Today despite wondering about some things and having some things on my mind and wanting things to be just how I want them NOW.....I am extremely content and so thankful for what God has done and is doing in my life always.  I know He has my best interests at heart.  Today.....I am happy.....

Happy to introduce you to....

.....our new family members....

Mocha and 'Nilla


You all know how very much that we love our furry animals, or better known as our additional kids!!  Over the past few months we've lost 2 kitties....Pippen, who disappeared and Shutter who passed away.  In addition the kitten that Dave got ME, Stitches, has decided that she wants Gracie as her human, sad face.  So some how (I have know idea how) I talked Dave into two new kittens for us.

After a lot of searching Craigslist I came across the ad for these two adorable babies.  I fell in love with them immediately.  We were able to get them and in additional we made a new friend (Jennifer)

So.....here they are....

Aren't they just precious??

Some of the other kitties at home are checking out the newcomers....

Loving with Mommy, even reluctantly....

More loving...

Yes there are two kitties there....they have decided that the laundry is the place to take a nap.....which means I can't do laundry, lol

SO cute....

Now it's time to play in the box that is on the kitchen floor....

Snuggling together....

Need to know how to tell them apart?  Well, it's really hard for me.....BUT if you are here Mocha is the one that is more calm and 'Nilla is the scardy one.  If you aren't here....Mocha is the one that is slighly darker (you can tell by the ears and tail the most).....and 'Nilla is the lighter one....make sense? lol

They are absolutely precious and we are so glad to have them.  At first they were both so scared but now they are coming around.  Enjoy these pics, I'm sure you'll see many more, grin.