the 'other' mom

In our house speaking about adoption (and specifically Gracie's adoption) is as natural and easily talked about as what we are having for supper. We are very careful to use the 'right' terms.  For instance, there is only one mom....that's me.  Now Gracie knows who her 'birthmom' is but I am mom and we are all secure in that.

Gracie is very vocal with others about being adopted and speaks of it at school to her classmates easily.  Last week I went to have lunch with her.  In the lunch line one of her classmates asked her if I was her Grandma LOL.  Gracie said 'No, this is my mom.  She's just older because I'm adopted.'  The friend replied 'I know, you told us in group.  You told us that you were adopted a few minutes after you were both.  And that your mom is mean.'

UM....lol

Gracie very quickly says 'no I didn't say that'.....and the girl says 'no, the OTHER mom'.  OH, now I get it.

Other kids don't necessarily know the right terms, or the ones we use...they don't always understand everything about adoption and esp one that was attempted to be open and is spoken about so much.  But...they sure do understand the child's feelings on the people involved.  It was really interesting to hear from an 'outsider' what Gracie's perspective is.

BUT...I'm not the mean mom :-)